När jag 1985 hade varit med om att bjuda hit shamanen Harley SwiftDreer till Sverige satt vi och åt lunch tillsammans. Då frågade han mig "Do you know what a two-legged fox is?"
Det satte igång något som var både givande och skrämmande. Jag redogjorde för detta i en artikel i tidningen Gimle och valde att utforma den som en berättelse lite i Lovecrafts anda.
Stalking the Two-legged fox
The crazy medicine man spoke, and said "The most difficult animal to stalk is the two-legged fox". And he asked "Do you know what a two-legged fox is?" "I could guess", I answered. "Okay, guess", he replied. "It's a very beautiful woman", I said with conviction. To my great disappointment he said "No!" How could he say "no"? I was totally convinced that I knew what he was talking about, for not far from us was sitting a being I was sure could be described as a two-legged fox.
The madman gave a weird laugh and continued, "Well, it might be a very beautiful woman, but it's much more than that. It is a very beautiful woman, but a woman with deep mysterious eyes, eyes that you seem to disappear in, eyes that give promise of strange experiences an extraordinary powers". Thus spoke the crazy medicine man, and upon this lunatic speech I acted.
Looking back upon this incident, I sometimes wonder how I could take seriously and act upon the mad joke of a crazy medicine man. But for some strange reason I got the distinct feeling that he was talking directly to me, even though there were other people around, and that he was talking about the creature I felt could be described as a two-legged fox, who was sitting not far from us.
Many years earlier I had met a woman of exquisite beauty, with a face like a goddess and the most perfectly proportioned body. We were never introduced, and I knew really nothing about her. Through the years the memory of this meeting stayed with me, but thinking of this woman, I could remember nothing of her beautiful face and body. All I could remember was her eyes, and the strange and mysterious things that were lurking in their unfathomable depths.
So, listening to the medicine man's lunatic ravings, and having not far from me the bearer of those mysterious eyes, a strange madness fell upon me. And that madness has not yet left me.
I was thinking about the circumstances that had led me into this situation. After all these years I was once more meeting the woman, whose eyes were the only things I remembered. And the medicine man was describing to me what I actually felt about her. My reason having left me, I became convinced that stalking the two-legged fox would be the path for me. Little did I realize how terrible this path would be.
My insanity made me believe that this stalking would be something that would give great power. If the two-legged fox ins the most difficult animal to stalk, may delirious brain was thinking, what powers might not be hidden in the successful accomplishment of this stalking! If I succeeded in doing the most difficult thing, how easy wouldn't it be for me to accomplish lesser things. Such were the illogical reasoning that induced me to take this regrettable step.
Of course, I didn't know how to start this stalking. The mad medicine man didn't talk any more about this, he went on with his insane babblings, about things more strange and terrible than any sane man can experience in his worst nightmares. But for some unknown reason, circumstances were again acting for me.
I found myself in a situation where I would be able to start stalking the two-legged fox. The notion that this would be something nice and wonderful, soon left me. A cold shiver runs down my spine when I think about the frightful and abnormal things I was going to experience.
I was thrown into the most extraordinary experiences, experiences that would have left any man, with a weaker spirit than mine, an empty shell, a drooling idiot. I have visited the most strange and uncanny places, and met even more of these insane and terrifying medicine men. True, sometimes the experiences I have had, have made me soar high, like the greatest eagle. But always I have plunged back into the dark well of the deepest despair.
Have I then succeeded in stalking the two-legged fox? IN some respects one might say that I have had some degree of success. But in other respects I have not succeeded at all. Not that I know what success is in these matters. Once I even made the great mistake of believing that I was not far from success. That made me stumble into a dark cold, and slimy place, in which I would surely have died, had not some ancestral spirits come to my rescue.
In the most manic stages of my madness I feel that I have learned a lot of valuable things and have had a lot of beautiful experiences. I even believe that I have learned something about myself and something of how the world works. In may uncontrollable insanity I feel that I have experienced some extraordinary teachings and that I have gained great power. But how could acting upon a madman's crazy joke give any kind of valuable experience?
Two things I know I learned for certain: The first is that the two-legged fox is the most difficult animal to stalk. The second is this: Never listen to and act upon the teachings and advices of mad medicine men. This will surely change all your life and turn you into something you would never dream of. You will never be your old and familiar self again.
As for me, I will continue this insane path; things have gone too far for me to be able to leave it. The old and familiar roads sees drab and listless to me, my yearning is for strange roads and weird places. In my delirious madness I believe that someday I really will be able to stalk the two-legged fox. Even though I am every day threatened with being engulfed by that ominous, dark and infinite void, the vast and terrifying unknown that I sometimes glimpse far back in her eyes, and that I know lies hidden deep in the womb of the two-legged fox.